Diary of the despondent  It’s been a long month.

Posted: July 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

Diary of the despondent

 

 

It’s been a long month. The stretched cold nights can attest to that. The overflowing tears that could easily fill a river are proof enough.

The forced smiles that barely reach the eyes confirm the dreary gloom enveloping you in a tight embrace that nearly chokes you.

The culpability is never far off, creeping eerily right into the depths of your soul, and you constantly chide yourself on whether it was your fault things came to an abrupt halt.

Then the guilt, the nerve-racking feeling that combines with the blame. Guilt because you didn’t do things right. Guilt because you ignored the impending signs of a break-up. Guilt because you could not hold it together.

The depression is never far off. Despair closes in from all sides especially when you see them all enthusiastic and not a sorry mess like yourself. Moving on soon seems mandatory, it becomes an incessant obligation.

Realization that moping around really won’t help eventually makes you get a grip, so that you go through your routine like a robot, happy on the outside but suffering in the inside. You soon learn to hide away all the hurt and your face becomes a mask void of all emotion.

You learn to survive , as only the broken-hearted can understand.

 

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Comments
  1. Sam Macharia says:

    You must be describing the effects of drugs, right? Anyway, that post is great writing. Nice idea and awesome word play. You’ve a very rich potential my girl!

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